Top 5 Ways to Avoid Family Fights During the Holidays

Holidays spent with family are sometimes tricky. We all have visions of a happy family reunion and fun, but many times the event doesn’t turn out quite like we planned it.

Many factors can contribute to the demise of the festive event. Maybe we are tired from cooking, cleaning or traveling. Maybe we have placed too much pressure on ourselves to make everything perfect. Perhaps reuniting with family has brought back unpleasant feelings from years ago, the way things used to be.

If you just want to go home for Christmas without getting in a family fight, try these 5 strategies:

1. Be a good listener – If a family member starts spouting off about something you don’t agree with, bite your tongue. A good neutral reply is, “That’s an interesting perspective.” By being passive, you will not get into a heated debate. If the person is verbally abusing you though, set boundaries. Let them know immediately that those kind of comments make you feel bad and you will not put up them.

2. Keep visits short – If you are staying with somebody you commonly argue with, it’s good not to overstay your welcome. As the hours or days pass, old patterns of behavior tend to resurface.

3. Keep the conversation positive – Don’t stir up old topics that you know are sore spots. If you are normally the recipient of teasing or complaints, ask family members questions about their own lives. This will keep them talking and distract them from picking on you. Try to keep the conversation positive and don’t make any waves.

4. Give the bragger his spotlight – If you have a family member who loves to talk about how great he is, give him a few minutes to talk and politely listen. Tell him his accomplishments sound great, then interject good news or achievements in your life, too. Remember, the person who brags the most usually has a low self-esteem.

5. Have an escape plan – If you’re nervous about confrontations, before you arrive, tell the family you won’t be able to stay long. If you are enjoying yourself you can always extend your visit. Have your own car so you can leave whenever you want to.

In addition to these strategies, keep alcohol consumption to a minimum. Drinking causes many people to become more outspoken or even boisterous.

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